November 2023

Dear Family and Friends,

SURPRISE ! SURPRISE !! SURPRISE !!!

Yes. It seems that life is full of surprises! Especially mine, in the last little while.

FIRST: A couple of years ago, Dan, my steady, level-headed son, announced he was marrying someone he hadn’t even met yet and didn’t know much about, only through their conversations on a website for church members. WOW! How could he do such a thing? What a great surprise that was! A real shocker! But it turned out well, because he and Cathy are now serving a mission together in Hawaii. So, you just never know.

SECOND: Just over a year ago, Carol, my 85 year old sister and a widow of 10 years, announced that she was getting married! That, too, was a shocker! But we all wholeheartedly approved of it and were happy for her and Morris. And I was shocked again, when I saw her energetically dancing Jitterbug style at their wedding reception, after having had a hip replacement sometime earlier. What a great couple they are!

THIRD: Just one month shy of exactly one year ago, was the greatest surprise of them all, and it was for me! My three children, True, Linda, and Dan, plus Cathy, worked together and managed to successfully pull off the best kept “secret surprise party” ever, for my 95th birthday! It was huge and fabulous! And I was so awed and overwhelmed by it all, that I couldn’t keep the tears back and cried almost the whole time.

    Yes, some surprises are big, happy ones. But others are small, little ones that are just as unexpected and happy. I had one of those in early October when True called me to come to breakfast and I saw on my plate a large chocolate covered doughnut! It even had colored sprinkles on top and was very enticing. She knows I like sweets and strictly limits them, normally. It was for no particular reason nor occasion, so that made it even more of a really ‘happy surprise’ coming from her. And it tasted great, too!

    There are, however, surprises that are not so happy in nature, and I had one of those, too. Buddy (my prosthetic leg) has its ups and downs according to how its liner or sleeve is placed over the stump, so it seems. If it is a bit off, one way or the other, then it begins to hurt and can’t be worn long. I do put it on each day, though, and somehow caused an abrasive area on the tip end of the stump that grew worse as I continued to use the leg. At my October 18th appointment, I expected to have a pad of some sort placed over the sore, but to my “unhappy” surprise - I was ordered to stay off the leg for over two full weeks! Wow! What a bummer! That put it to the 1st of November. Now, I’m afraid that I may have to learn all over again, how to work with and manage my Buddy and its flexible knee. I really do need to have both legs on and usable in order to continue to progress. So, we’ll see about this new situation.

    As inconvenient as was my surprise, there was another awful one that happened on the 21st to a member of our family. True’s daughter and my granddaughter, formerly La Deane Gateley Palmar, but now, legally, Cedar Sky Love, experienced a very ‘debilitating surprise’ while on a weekend hike with True and others in a rather remote area of eastern Oregon. As I understand it, a few years earlier, Cedar had torn the ligament and cartilage that connects the femur bone of the leg to the pelvis and it had never healed properly. So, while on this hike, she happened to move in such a manner that the same area was torn again, causing excruciating pain. Definitely a surprise, all right. But not a good one! Her boyfriend, Travis, actually carried her out of the area and then, suspecting it would require surgery, drove her to the ER of the hospital in Spokane, because that’s where she lives. 

    Evidently, besides creating terrible pain, when the connective cartilage is torn away like that, the leg must always be kept straight, never bending it, to prevent further tearing and to promote its proper healing. Thus, she will be unable to sit! But must go directly from prone to standing. Can you imagine that? So, it’s going to be a long, hard struggle for her. But, with her Heavenly Father’s help and that of many, many others, along with her own strength and positive attitude, and lots of patience, she will get through this bad surprise okay! We’ll keep her in our prayers and on the temple prayer roll, too. Maybe you’d like to do the same. She is a 47 year old widow of close to 15 years, who served in the military herself, as did her husband, Rick. So, she is eligible for help from the VA and other resources, as well. So, she’ll be all right!. I think it’s kind of ironic that I have a swollen leg because I sit too much, and poor Cedar can’t even sit at all! 

    True returned home from the weekend hike, and, of course, was in a quandary as to whether to be with me or with her daughter? I told her to go ahead and be with Cedar, since she would need someone to be with her when she came home from the hospital. And, someone had to be with Cedar’s daughter Makayla, who now calls herself Ella, and get her to school, etc. So, True left, and was even able to take my old bedside commode and regular walker for Cedar to use as she recuperates. My “Angel” True, seems to be the one called on as a caregiver whenever and for whoever needs the help. Knowing that caregiving can be very stressful, tiring and time-consuming, it certainly does seem to take its toll on True, and leaves her exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally. Yet, she still, somehow, manages to keep up with all of her website clients, classes and appointments, too. Yes. She’s quite a wonderful and remarkable girl!.

    Like I’ve said before, I don’t mind being alone. I always have the Medical Guardian button around my neck, should I ever need it. And True always provides lots of foodstuff for me to eat. And Linda, although she does work part-time, is able to help with extra supplies and other things, as she checks in on me, occasionally, whenever True is gone. It seems, my close neighbors are either gone or have medical problems of their own, so my mail and newspapers do get stacked up, sometimes, waiting for Linda. But I do have several people who are willing to provide me with transportation to church and other activities. So, I am well taken care of. And, of course, there is HaiKu, our newly acquired cat, who, with True gone, wants to be with me more often. Which is okay, until she starts flexing her claws on my poor skin. Then, she has to go. And I am trying to be careful and not do anything UN-safe. Although I did take the opportunity when I had to clean up a spill to go ahead and mop all the floors again, but made sure I was well anchored in my chair before leaning over. It’s the same thing I do every day as I pick up crumbs from the floor. So I felt that I was being completely safe!! And I also wanted clean floors to be a nice surprise for True on her return.

    Another nice surprise for me was a call from Curtis Beesley, the President of Mentors International. I have contributed a bit to that organization for over 30 years because I believe in what they are trying to do to alleviate poverty in other countries by teaching individuals the business skills and other things they need to be successful in providing for their families. They are located in Utah and are not part of the Church, but were founded by Church members who have the same idea of helping people by giving them a ‘hand up and not a hand out.’ They do offer mini loans ($25.00,etc.) that are required to be repaid once the business is doing well. Anyway, the call from him, personally, was to thank me for my years of support and he even promised to come to Grants Pass and see me someday! How ‘bout that! I’ve had written contact with others of the firm throughout the years, but this call was a nice ‘happy surprise’ indeed!

    I think it’s rather uncanny that my Month of Surprises should end with Halloween, which is noted for its scary surprises, especially in rigged-up haunted houses. And you may find that my puzzle this month is also a little ‘surprising’, because I put 4 puzzles onto only one sheet of paper. So, please print it off of the email and have fun solving all the different ones.

    And now, as we enter the month of November, I am thankful for each one receiving this letter and pray that the Lord will bless you with good health, and maybe a few “Happy Surprises” of your own.

Love, Marie